Supporting Your Home School Learner
There are 6 main types of learners you should be aware of and be able to understand which one your child is.
Homeschooling works best when both the parent and the child work well together. You’ll spend a lot of time with each other, so it’s important to figure out when the parent is acting as the teacher and when the child is acting as the student. If you don’t, it can be easy to argue every time these roles change.
Our personalities affect how we work with others. How we feel in our minds and moods doesn’t just affect us—it also affects the people around us. It’s difficult for a parent to teach calmly if they’re angry, and it’s hard for a child to learn if they’re feeling sad.
Different homeschool learners usually fit into one of five main personality types. These were first explained by psychologist Taibi Kahler in 1975.
Which type do you think you are? And are you learning in the way that suits you best?
The “Be Perfect” Learner
You’ll know if your child is this type of learner. They like everything neat and tidy. Things have to be done in a certain way, and they can get upset if this doesn’t happen. They are very critical of their own work and often feel like they’re “not good enough,” so they push themselves to do more than expected.
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They set high standards for themselves and want their work to be finished to a very high level.
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They notice small details, like uneven spacing in a typed document, a shirt button that looks different, or a fiction book placed on the non-fiction shelf.
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Once they start working, they can block out background noise, like music.
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They always meet deadlines, even if it means staying up late to make their work “perfect.”
Challenges they face:
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They can get stuck focusing on tiny problems, worrying about the 5% that isn’t right instead of the 95% that is.
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They often take criticism very personally, even when it’s small.
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They don’t like taking risks and prefer to stick with what they already know.
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They find it hard to laugh off mistakes and move on.
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They’d rather work alone than in a group.
How to help them learn at home:
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Give them projects where noticing detail is important, but keep the task clear and limited.
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Agree on how much time they should spend on the work, and remind them it doesn’t have to be “perfect” if the time is up.
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Keep task lists short and easy to follow.
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Encourage them with positive feedback. Remember, they are often much harder on themselves than anyone else would be.
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Show them gently what not to do, without calling their work “bad” or “wrong.” This helps build their confidence.
The “Busy Bee” Learner
You’ll know if your child is this type of learner because they are always busy doing something. They like to finish tasks quickly. For them, getting it done matters more than how it is done. They are usually very sociable and often chosen to join study groups because they get along with everyone.
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They work quickly, finish tasks, and move on to the next thing without delay.
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They enjoy new ideas and projects and will get started straight away.
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They bring positive energy to group learning.
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They are spontaneous and can find fun in most things.
Challenges they face:
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They sometimes rush and miss important details.
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They may resist re-doing or editing work because it feels boring.
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They prefer working with background music, which might distract others.
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They learn best by talking with others—not to distract, but to process ideas.
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They struggle with deadlines that are far away and with longer tasks.
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They find it hard to listen to long instructions, so short, clear directions work better.
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They can be so busy with their own work that they forget to notice or appreciate what others contribute.
How to help them learn at home:
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Give them short tasks they can focus on and complete.
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Break bigger projects into smaller steps and give them one stage at a time.
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Remind them to pause and think before they speak, as they can sometimes blurt things out without meaning to sound rude.
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Model how much time and effort you want from them, and praise them when they get it right.
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Allow extra time for them to settle at the start of a lesson—they may need 10–15 minutes to fidget and bustle before focusing.
The "Try Hard" Learner
You’ll know if your child is this type of learner because they say “yes” to everything, even when they can’t really cope with it all. They’re often in the middle of too many things at once—trying to finish one task while worrying about the next two!
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They work hard to get things done and sometimes keep going when they really need a break.
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They focus on quality over quantity, so clear tasks with clear deadlines suit them best.
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They don’t want to let you down and will push themselves to deliver.
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They’re happy to help out, though they may be picky about what help they offer (especially as teenagers—walking the dog in the rain may not be first on their list).
Challenges they may face:
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They take on too much at once and struggle to finish everything instead of asking for help.
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They sometimes spend more energy trying to do things than actually doing them.
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They find it hard to relax and rest.
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They believe that if they just try harder, things will always get better, instead of accepting that “good enough” really is okay sometimes.
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They are very sensitive to feedback, so how you say something matters as much as what you say.
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They compare themselves to others in their study group and feel pressure to keep up.
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They may keep working on something even after the deadline has passed.
How to help them learn at home:
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Begin the day with a clear list of tasks and what level of effort is expected (for example, the bed only needs the quilt pulled straight, not perfect corners).
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Give small rewards for effort and bigger rewards when tasks are fully finished.
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Remind them that not everything is a competition—sometimes working with others or stepping back can bring more success than always trying to “win.”
The 'Can't Do It By Myself' Learner
This learner can take up a lot of your time if you’re not careful. They find it hard to stay focused and often come to you for help. What they really want is a companion—anyone who will sit with them, and ideally, do the work for them! They can do simple and familiar tasks on their own, but they don’t like to unless someone is watching.
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They enjoy working in study buddy groups.
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They are very good at persuading others to do things for them.
Challenges they may face:
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They give up easily and may cry or say the work is too hard to get sympathy.
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They find it difficult to accept constructive feedback and may blame others instead.
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Their emotions often affect how cooperative they are.
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If the work isn’t really easy, they won’t want to do it—and they definitely won’t want to do it independently.
How to help them learn at home:
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Remember, they may try to manipulate you—so be firm but fair.
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Set clear behaviour rules and explain what will happen if they do or don’t complete the task.
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Give short, clear, and realistic instructions. Break tasks into small steps and praise them for completing each one.
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At first, you may need to sit nearby, but don’t watch them directly—do your own task beside them. Gradually move further away until you can leave the room.
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Check in on them, encourage them, and remind them that finishing the task alone is part of their reward.
The “Please Others” Learner
This learner wants everyone to be happy and spends a lot of energy trying to keep the peace. Because of this, they often go along with what others want. If they’re asked for an opinion, they’ll usually say they don’t mind or that anything is fine.
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They are easy-going in study buddy groups and help avoid arguments when others disagree.
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They often support study buddies who are struggling.
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They are kind, friendly, and get along with everyone.
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They like following rules, so they hand in homework on time and meet deadlines.
Challenges they may face:
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They don’t stand up for themselves, so their ideas can get lost in group work.
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They may follow stronger personalities and be led in the wrong direction.
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They find it hard to say “no,” which can sometimes be unsafe.
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They fear being blamed if something goes wrong, so feedback can be hard for them to hear.
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They want to be noticed in a positive way, so mistakes can feel very upsetting.
How to help them learn at home:
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Give clear instructions, set time limits, and don’t forget to praise their efforts.
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Show them that “good enough” can still mean success.
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Be firm but patient when asking their opinion—encourage them to see their voice as valuable. It’s okay for them to say, “I don’t like that.”
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Avoid sharing your personal worries with them—they will feel pressure to fix problems that are beyond their control.
The “Strong and Silent” Learner
You might think homeschooling is going smoothly with this learner, because they won’t tell you if things are going wrong! On the surface, they seem calm, steady, and content. They prefer working on their own rather than in a study buddy group. They like routine, easy, and repetitive tasks.
Where they do well in homeschooling:
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They are willing to take risks and try new challenges.
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In a study buddy group, they stay true to themselves.
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They can always be relied on.
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They are trustworthy—if they say they’ve done their homework but forgotten to bring it, you can believe them.
Challenges they may face:
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They don’t show their emotions much, so it can be hard to spot if they’re being bullied.
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It’s difficult to tell if the workload is too hard for them or if they’re struggling with a subject.
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Communication is not their strong point. They may not want to show their feelings, or they may be hiding something deeper.
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They might find it hard to write down ideas, especially in creative writing or storytelling. They may prefer factual, non-fiction work instead.
How to help them learn at home:
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Model openness by showing how and when to share feelings in a safe way.
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Keep conversations one-to-one, giving them a chance to practice sharing thoughts with you.
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Give clear, straightforward instructions, and accept that their writing may be short and simple.
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Monitor their progress and give praise for both their effort and their results.